Visitors' civil comments encouraged.
Dear Sarah, Dear Sister (Repost)
editors note: I attended a function full of Democratic women, last night, Aug. 24, 2009 and the main topic among the women was still "that crazy" Sarah Palin. It seems a good time to re-visit Izarradar's wonderful post from October, 2008. nh
They laugh at your voice, your accent. They make fun of how great you look, and how many kids you have. They smirk because you played the flute in a beauty contest, and strutted your stuff in a swimsuit. They say you’re dumb, you didn’t go to an Ivy League school, and God forbid you didn’t even have a passport until last year. You’re small town, from a small, unpopulated state, scrutinized, belittled, and scorned.
On the issues, you and I don’t agree.
But every time they laugh at you, they laugh at me. Every time they call you dumb, my I.Q. is questioned. When they make fun of you, they make fun of me. When they attack your family, they attack mine. When they comment on how you look, my looks are also ridiculed.
I am a Democrat. You are a Republican. But we share common ground because we are women, and in my book that means something. It means that we share a life experience, and a knowledge that bonds us. That makes us sisters in gender, if not in ideology.
I’ve never had a sister, so I’m not sure what that relationship involves. But I know what it means to have family, and when my family is attacked, bullied, or laughed at, I don’t take it lightly. Even if I disagree with my family’s way of thinking, you better believe I’ll be there for them, protecting and pushing back. Hard.
There are differences between us, Sarah. But there are some things in life that are bigger and more important. And differences really should never separate us, or cause us to disrespect one another, or call each other “less” or “other.” Audre Lorde (a very fine Black feminist of the second wave) said it best:
“We must recognize differences among women who are our equals, neither inferior or superior, and devise ways to use each others’ differences to enrich our visions and our joint struggles."
There are those waiting for you to fail, Sarah. They want you to fall big time. They’re hoping like hell you get your ass kicked. But not me. I’m a woman, and that gender role trumps the D on my ballot anytime. Sorry, but it does. No one has ever taken advantage of me as a Democrat, but as a woman, yes. No one has ever paid me less as a Democrat, but as a woman, yes. No one has treated me inferior as a Democrat, but as a woman, yes. My dues have been paid as a woman, and not as a Democrat.
For this reason, I don’t want you to fail, Sarah.
Dear Sarah, dear sister. We are closer than you think. Not as a Democrat and Republican. But as much more---and with a stronger bond.
“We have chosen each other
and the edge of each others battles
the war is the same
if we lose
someday women’s blood will congeal
upon a dead planet
if we win
there is no telling
we seek beyond history
for a new and more possible meeting."
Audre Lorde
The battle for November is bigger than the White House. The 21st century is upon us, and the goals are bigger now. The stakes higher. We’ve lived too many years---thousands of years following the ancient script. It’s time for a change, but real change. Not the change slogan of a male-driven marketing plan.
Lorde said it, and now, more than ever, it has truth:
“The future of our earth may depend upon the ability of all women to identify and develop new definitions of power and new patterns of relating across difference.”
Our differences, Sarah, are not what define us. Our power is what counts. We can respect our differences, acknowledge them, and move forward. For real change.
Our world needs it.
- izarradar's blog
- Login or register to post comments
-
...I am just speechless. "There are those waiting for you to fail, Sarah. They want you to fall big time. They’re hoping like hell you get your ass kicked. But not me." I'm right there with you, Izzy. Not me, either.
This is such a beautiful essay, Iz. Thank you, thank you, for speaking so eloquently on behalf of sisters everywhere. Why is the big picture so hard for many to see? Is our gender still that self-loathing?
We have so far to go.
"Right wing sledge hammers never, ever help us." Pacific John
Our self-loathing reflects what our culture tells us we are worth.
"The true focus of revolutionary change is never merely the oppressive situations which we seek to escape, but that piece of the oppressor which is planted deep within each of us."
Lorde
I think it might take a Sarah Palin or similar winger to break through. Women as you say are mirrors or I think women are mothers and by their very nature, agreeable and comforting to what ever they face.
Sarah Palin seems to be able to dissociate her motherly side from her professional side and give a hearty FU with the best of the boys. With liberals like Hillary I think that is for show, but a Palin it is the norm.
Civil Discourse - ERA - A Mother President - Women's Rights - Primary Reform
is much more than being "agreeable" and "comforting." It involves fearlessness, and grit. Strength, and tenacity. The ability to reach down deep, and to keep going. Not for yourself, but for someone else. Pushing yourself past your own limits, your own needs, your own happiness at times. My first moment of understanding motherhood was when my 18 month old son spiked a fever and needed a spinal tap to rule out meningitis. The doctor told me I had to hold my son down as they searched his arm for a vein to take blood. I remembered as a 5 year old screaming as a nurse poked and poked my own arm, searching for a vein. Now, thirty years later, I was being asked to be a part of the same scene. My urge to flee from that emergency room was overwhelming. I wanted to cry, but my son's own fear stopped my tears. He needed me to be strong, and my feelings no longer mattered. I held him down, and felt the helplessness any mother would feel as she watches her child cry out. Agreeable and comforting I could not be. But I was strong, and that's what my child needed the most from me. Never underestimate the depth of motherhood---it's not all hearts and flowers.
thank you so much.
...here, Izzy, rather epitomizes the position I find myself in by deciding (and oh-so-painfully) to cast my vote for McCain/Palin. At my very core, it goes against every instinct and belief I hold dear, and if I were to yield to a lesser good and my own selfish desires, I wouldn't cast that vote. Yet I've come to realize that my personal feelings, wants and desires and self-righteous "liberal" grandstanding must be subjugated this time for the greater good. Oy, such a moral dilemma and character-building exercise I never expected to face in my lifetime. And I firmly, firmly, firmly believe that the greater good here is creating a path for HRC to have a shot at becoming president in 2012, and once-and-for-all to smash through that glass ceiling. It's a twofer.
So, it looks like all these decades of my mom training of being strong for someone or something else is coming in real handy. And you're so right, this is not a moment of hearts and flowers. It's pure determined grit.
"Right wing sledge hammers never, ever help us." Pacific John
Beautifully said..and Very WELL said..the kind of stuff that makes an impression and impact on Ones thinking..I agree with your thoughts and words and those here who express thier appreciation and adminration for what you wrote..This is as GOOD as it gets..
I am glad Hampster put it back up...and I'm very glad I read it...Well done..nice Touch..Thanks for sharing this..
LION
...Dr. Lynette Long www.lynettelong.com
"SEXISM IN THE SENATE
Last night key Senators talking about the Senate passing the bailout bill.
Their names don't matter to me. There gender does. There are no women in this picture. I am tired of living in a boys club. We are inivisible." [emphasis added]
WE.ARE.INVISIBLE.
"Right wing sledge hammers never, ever help us." Pacific John
But we still have our voices.
We may not be in the picture, but we can shout like hell and ruin the photo op.
would not be happy if she were in that photo. He doesn't even have to say anything directly, Reid and Dodd and others will self-censor just to avoid the hassle with their party's nominee.
So to those who say HRC stands a better chance of getting her legislation signed by BO, I say HOGWASH. No, make that FUCKING hogwash.
"Right wing sledge hammers never, ever help us." Pacific John
The Sisterhood of Shared Indignities (A Double Post by kenosha Marge and InsightAnalytical-GRL)
http://insightanalytical.wordpress.com/2008/09/23/the-sisterhood-of-shar...
...it does.
"Right wing sledge hammers never, ever help us." Pacific John
It's not fair to stereotype and it's not fair to hold these women to a double standard, but some of them -- younger ones, especially -- are piling on just rubbing their hands together waiting for Palin to fall on her face. How are we going to get through to these young women? I guess we never will.
do get older. They mature. Life kicks them in their pretty face, and they learn that makeup won't protect them. Be patient, talk with them, plant the seeds.
Yes yes:
“The future of our earth may depend upon the ability of all women to identify and develop new definitions of power and new patterns of relating across difference.”
Beautiful diary Iz.
I want to point out this article with this juicy quote:
An ecomonic crisis to figure out Obama isn't experienced enough to run the free world! Good grief, those kool-aiders are clueless.
Red Hot & Blue Politics | Alice left me in Wonderland
then just ping me via the contact form in the tip top menu. I'll front page it.
Civil Discourse - ERA - A Mother President - Women's Rights - Primary Reform
Sorry it's late. Have at it.
GONE FISHING
That is what this country grapels with. equality. And it is sorely challenged.
Well Done.
Because some of our "liberal" females just cannot, or just will not stop bashing other women instead of getting those other women to join in the battles about concerns that we all share.
I have come to love the phrase Grll at IA coined for the double post she and I did on this subject; "The Sisterhood of Shared Indignities". Perhaps we, as women and as men that care about women as human beings, ought to leave those women who cannot get beyond their stereotypical conservative bashing to own the feminist cause.
Perhaps the rest of us, The Sisterhood of Shared Indignities, can then do something about the problems all women face and concentrate on our shared concerns instead of our differances. It would be whole lot more constructive. Even if bashing other women for not being as "smart or cool" as we are is more fun. But then, I never thought the point of women's rights was about having fun. I thought it was about survival, dignity and compassion. Things many of our "liberal" sisters don't seem to understand or represent.
Most would rather kowtow to a liberal man than help or share with a conservative woman. And they wonder why conservative women loathe them. Or perhaps they don't wonder, perhaps they just don't give a damn. And that's even stupider.
A Dishonest/Biased Media Is A Crime Against Democracy!
The first 20 comments were from October and before the election.
Me. I went to see Markos last night at a book signing. The crowd was mostly posters from NH's own BlueHampshire blog and therefore almost all Democrats. After the hour of chat and questions with Markos, he went to the signing table and the crowd formed a democratic, unorderly line. It wasn't 2 minutes until the Palin jokes started. I don't remember a single one except that someone mentioned David Letterman which leads me to believe they were watching summer reruns.
The jokes actually started when Markos said something about we almost had a President McCain and a woman in the front row said "or President Palin".
I did not hear one man say a joke or laugh. it was the women mocking Governor Palin for her view of Russia, her (I agree) nasty wolf hunting and even her accent. It is the women.
I'm quoting. don't shoot me. i've heard some dem women explain it as we're in a post sexist world and they'd love to see a woman President but not that "stupid" one.
Civil Discourse - ERA - A Mother President - Women's Rights - Primary Reform
I'd say to all those women Democrats, that "stupid" one they speak of, started out as a nobody and rose to become the governor of Alaska, without selling her soul or throwing her convictions in the toilet to do it.
is okay with them as long as it's a man.
Phooey!
GONE FISHING
with the Palin jokers/haters. It's very seldom men, unless they're some sort of politician. It's almost always women who are the nastiest toward her. But a lot of those same women, or the same class of women, were saying during the primaries they would love to have a woman president, just not "that" woman about Hillary.
Until more women stop with the self loathing, they will continue to be the ni---r of the world. Please don't shoot me either.
But I do somewhat disagree that it is almost always women who rag on Palin, to wit: David Letterman, et al. But it is particularly egregious, I'll concur, when women shoot themselves in the foot this way. I think younger women, in particular, who haven't had the same blood, sweat and tears stake in the struggle for equality often take for granted the victories won thus far. Otherwise, I just can't seem to come up with any rational explanation for the continuing ugly vitriol against Palin. Eh, maybe it's just a byproduct of the horrid partisan tone of the country for the last eight years...well, more. But I do hope they can be educated to understand that there are still very powerful interests opposed to feminism and women holding seats of high political power. Let's face it, it's not in the interests of big business for women to demand equal pay. Challenging the patriarchy always comes with a heavy price (oh, the stories I could tell).
"Right wing sledge hammers never, ever help us." Pacific John
where women are not subordinate to men. You can't. The problem is worldwide---more extreme in certain cultures than others, but still the reason why women are not helping to run this big, bad, beautiful world. Until we accept this as a fact, and realize that both men AND women are responsible for continuing this aberration, we will continue to foster this subordination generation after generation after generation. We need not only to educate our young, but also every man and woman who lives the lie that genders are not equal.
it seems to me that it's because many of them accept that. Or want that. Or whatever loony reason that women have for preferring to kiss some man's ass to shaking the hand of a woman if she doesn't belong to the right party or ideology. Men alone cannot hold us back.
Woman have a majority, in this country at least, and if we do not have all our rights it is because we don't use that majority. Women outnumber men and if you ass all the good decent men that believe that women's rights are civil rights there should be enough of a majority to make ERA a reality.
A Dishonest/Biased Media Is A Crime Against Democracy!
"...it seems to me that it's because many of them accept that." So true, kenosha. But we are raised as women to accept what our culture defines for our gender. Most women aren't aware of the shackles put on us unless they really open their eyes and their hearts. That involves hard work, and courage. You have to be brave to challenge the status quo, and does our culture encourage women to be brave?
"Our differences, Sarah, are not what define us. Our power is what counts. We can respect our differences, acknowledge them, and move forward. For real change."
This is exactly how I feel. What a wonderful post, Izarradar! You're such a gifted writer.
I appreciate your kind words.
Surely that must be a record on P'zane.
GONE FISHING
it used to be in the top menu for a few months and I just put it back there.
Civil Discourse - ERA - A Mother President - Women's Rights - Primary Reform
Thanks for the repost. It's a classic that will stand the test of time. You don't have to be a woman to identify with fine writing like this because it's honest, heartfelt, and on such a human level.
A+++
The malicious treatment of Palin by the media and by liberal women is as abysmal now as it was when Izzy first penned these words in 2008. Condemning some women for the roles they have selected limits all women.
This is an insightful and thoughtful post, Izzy. The Lordes' quote you used to conclude (“The future of our earth may depend upon the ability of all women to identify and develop new definitions of power and new patterns of relating across difference") should make every woman pause and consider her actions.
Your closing words identify the problem and what our course of action should be:"Our differences, Sarah, are not what define us. Our power is what counts. We can respect our differences, acknowledge them, and move forward. For real change.
Thanks for the wonderful post. I had not seen it.
more people need to read izzies wonderful post.
Civil Discourse - ERA - A Mother President - Women's Rights - Primary Reform
But I'm commenting now -- excellent post, Dar. Really, really good.
And as for anyone who would rather make fun of Gov. Palin than understand her -- rather than making fun of something they don't like _in general_ (like wolf hunting, which to my mind is absolutely barbaric) -- I believe that shows the limits of that particular person's intellect, and I refuse to waste my time on such nonentities.
Once again -- excellent post, Dar. Excellent.
There's no excuse for this, DNC. You screwed the pooch; time to pay the piper.